Perfectionism -vs- Excellence

Perfectionism ~vs~ Excellence

Hi! My name is Melissa and I am a recovering perfectionist. It has been about 3 seconds since I have had a perfectionistic thought… and that’s only because I am talking… and it’s hard to ponder on something when you’re talking. Anyway, I would like to welcome you to perfectionist anonymous… …Ok, I am just joking! …but how many of us would be apart of perfectionist anonymous if there was such a thing? I know I would be! In fact, I probably would be the president!

I wanted to share how God has been dealing with the perfectionist in me. I am so amazed by His love and affection for me and His desire for me to become who he has planned for me to be. As we began to study Genesis, at CBS Franklin I was a little apprehensive of what I would possibly learn from the old-old testament… But I knew God was going to show me what exactly he wanted me to learn. So… at the same time I was excited… what I didn’t know was that my whole way of thinking was going to be turned upside down. We saw very early in Genesis that God uses imperfect people to do His perfect plan. What ever mistakes, ideas or plans that were made by man, God still had a master plan and no matter what… it would be done.

This got me thinking about my own life and some of the things that I have gone through. Looking back over the years, I realize how paralyzed I was because of perfectionism. It took me almost 10 years to finish my 2 year nursing degree, because I thought I could never do that, I’m not good enough, maybe later after I’ve grown a bit… I turned down the opportunity to be in leadership at bible study 3 times, because I thought I could never do that, I’m not smart enough to do that, maybe later after I smartened up a bit… I almost gave up the opportunity to be a mother, because I was waiting for the ‘perfect” time, I never thought I could do that, maybe after I have it all together I’ll give it a try. Oh my gosh… to think of all the things I would have missed If I would have kept putting these things off. I have learned so much and grown so much from being a nurse, from being in leadership and from being a mother.

I can look back and see that God was dealing with this issue for a long time… but it wasn’t until now that I realized what the problem is. I’ve gotten the lines between excellence and perfection blurred… The definition of excellence is the state or quality of excelling. To excel, means to do or be better. Perfection is a state of completeness and flawlessness. I desired to be perfect at everything I did… But something inside of me knew I could never be perfect. Where desiring to be perfect became a problem was when I thought I could and should be perfect.

God wants us to strive to be excellent as we wait to be made perfect through Him. Perfection only comes from God and it’s through Christ that we are made perfect…. Not by our own actions! Why would God sacrifice His only son for us, if he thought we could save ourselves? Or If He thought we could perfect a solution? God is perfect, His love is perfect, and it’s because of this perfect love we will be made perfect. Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.” And we know that the book of John says the word is God… so God is perfect!!! We on the other are not. The world we live in is not.

I know that we all have stories about how imperfect this world is. Most of us have experienced a loss of a loved one, a disturbing diagnosis for ourselves or someone we love, some of us have lost jobs, our homes, or our dreams. It’s through these difficult times that we can see God made perfect…. That we can see what he is doing. It’s through these difficult times that God often reveals his plan for us… Unfortunately, most of the time, we don’t realize what’s happening until after the fact. In this weeks study we learned that Joseph realized that through his brothers’ betrayal God was using him to save lives. Like Joseph, God wants us to know that even when life is not going the way you planned, He is in control! He has a plan and what was intended for evil, God will turn for good.

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” It’s through trials that perseverance is developed and through time that God is making us perfect. There is a poem by an unknown author that says, “Perfection is the destination and excellence is the journey”. We are in this journey together. Side by side we can encourage one another to do and be better.

I have personally struggled with feeling weak or feeling like a failure if things didn’t go exactly like I thought they should. If there was a tragedy in my life, I felt like I had to be strong, I felt like I had to be flawless in the way I handled it. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul says, ‘“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

So, when you feel paralyzed by the fear of failing, when you feel discouraged that you are not strong enough, when you feel like your life is off the path you’ve planned. Remember God has a perfect plan!!! If it’s perfection that your worried about… remember Christ is perfect and He lives in us! Though this side of heaven we will never see perfection fully manifested in ourselves… we can still strive for excellence, we can still strive to be better, and we can always count on God’s plan to be perfect… even if we get in the way.

I would like to conclude with an illustration that I have seen recently. For me, it shows that even though life is full of trials and difficult times, God has a plan. Weather he allows for these trials to happen or they just happen because it’s an imperfect world… There is still good that will come out of it! Genesis 50:20 says, “what was intended for evil, God will turn for good.”

To me… this paper represents perfection… it’s flawless… It’s complete.

…well, at least until now!


Now it’s wrinkled and a little tattered.


A lot like life! We just talked about how perfection apart from God is impossible.
When we think we can be perfect we often times feel crushed when realize we can not be.

We also talked about how God’s perfect plan will always manifest itself… even if we take the wrong turn, make the wrong choice, or walk away from his plan all together.


Life will eventually come back to God’s plan… It just may take awhile.

I also mentioned those pesky trials and tribulations. And how God is made perfect in our weakness. It’s the times when we feel pressed on all sides and cut that God is doing the most work.

Even though we feel like our life is in pieces God is doing a great thing. He has a master plan!

Not only does God have a plan for you… so does satan.

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy… he wants us to fold under pressure… he wants us to give in and walk away from God all together. He doesn’t want us to be made perfect through Christ Jesus… he wants to lead us astray he wants to lead us to hell.

But if we endure the wrinkles, folds, and cuts of life and strive for excellence God’s perfect plan will eventually reveal itself.
And the rewards are eternal!

Thanks for reading this!
<3 Mel

Let's Celebrate Jesus on Easter...

My Kids have love to read (well, what I mean to say... is they love to be read to ;) Kiana is learning to recognize letters, but can not read just yet. Anyway... we have this book called, "Let's celebrate Jesus on Easter" by Amy Beveridge.

I thought I would share some of spring time pics as I share the story with you...

At Easter, I will decorate eggs with lots of bright colors...

(coloring eggs with daddy! 4/2/2010.)

...But Jesus is the one who colors my world every day.
Psalm 19:1 "the heavens tell of the glory of God!"

At Easter, I will buy sweet treats to share with my friends...

(the kiddo's Easter goodies... we WILL be sharing that candy! ;)

...But Jesus is the one who shares all my thoughts and feelings.
Psalm 139:2 "you know my every thought."

At Easter, I will hunt for eggs...

(Kylen (3) hunting for eggs 4/3/2010)


(Kiana (5) hunting for egss 4/3/2010)

...But Jesus never has to hunt for me-he always knows right where I am.
Psalm 139:3 "Every moment you know where I am."

At Easter, I see knew life all around me...

(Kiana and Ky with "Joe-Joe" and their new baby cousin, Jett)

... But Jesus' new life on that first Easter morning is what I celebrate!
Luke 24:6 "He isn't here! He has risen from the dead!"

On Easter, I will dress in new clothes and get a basket full of surprises...

(Kiddos on Good Friday 4/2/2010)

...But knowing Jesus loves me is the best gift I will ever receive.
Romans 6:23 "The free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."

Yes, Easter is filled with good things bright and new...

(Kiddos Easter morning with their new shiny bikes!)

...but I can praise Jesus for giving me new life every day of the year!
John 11:25 "I am the resurrection and the life!")


Many Blessings!!!
<3 Mel (and Family :)

Diamonds

My mom's BF of 25 yrs was murdered almost 3 yrs ago in Ohio. They finally began the jury selection of the main shooter in the case. My heart is so heavy!!! I am amazed how God uses every situation in your life to make something beautiful, NO MATTER how ugly! Here is a, very long, devotional I co-wrote with Lord last year. I pray that the Lord will speak to your heart!

<3 Mel


Diamonds

It’s been a little over 2 years since my heart was broken, both laterally and figuratively. When the man who was like a step father to me was killed I remember thinking how awful this experience was going to be for me and for many people that I loved. My heart was so broken! Emotionally, I was just broken. I remember thinking that there must be a reason for this. God is the God of the universe and this situation somehow fit into His big picture. So I had to deal with it... I was going to make it through and totally rely on God while I did.

A few months after Dave’s murder, I began to have chest pain I couldn’t breathe when I laid down, and I couldn’t take a deep breath even sitting up. To make a long story short, I had inflammation around my heart called, Pericarditis... the effects of it lasted almost 1 year. This isn’t usually the case... Even my Cardiologist would joke with me about my broken heart. Now, my physical heart is healed, but I am still working on the broken emotional heart.

As we began our study on 2 Corinthians at CBS Franklin, I knew a lot of healing was about to take place. In the first chapter, Paul referred to God “as the God of all comfort”. The commentary of the 1st lesson said something that has since become my motto... “We cannot control the events, which come into our lives, but we can control our reactions to them.” As I was preparing this devotional, I was looking back over our past lessons, commentaries and lectures from Community Bible study. One of the things that I absolutely love and is the inspiration for this devotional is when, the teaching director, Cindy said, “God never wastes a hurt!” As we learned in one of our lessons, Paul states in Romans 5:3-4, “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” As I dwelled on this scripture, I couldn’t help but think about how God is turning my hurt into something beautiful... even though the process of getting there is very ugly. Kind of like a Diamond. They are formed under extreme pressure and very high temperatures. They are formed in Mire under the Earths surface. Like us, before we are transformed by God’s grace, diamonds are ugly, dirty, and need a lot of attention.

Raw diamonds are very different from the diamonds that we call “a girls best friend.” Very few Diamonds are flawless. A variety of flaws appear in the stones. Diamonds are chipped and scratched as they travel closer to the Earth’s surface. Before it gains its true value... a Diamond must be cleaned, cut, and polished by a skilled jeweler. Only skilled Jewelers know that Diamonds are the hardest substance on earth but they have weak spots on them. Only the skilled Jeweler knows that a diamond must be cut along these weak spots. This is what gives the Diamonds that we wear in our jewelry their shimmer and shine.

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” The message bible refers to “these trials of many kinds” as pressure... and it says that “such pressure causes your faith-life to be forced into the open and shows its true colors”. Like a Diamond we are formed to be who we are supposed to be by withstanding the high pressure and temperatures of life and tough situations that can and do occur. Like a Diamond, our true beauty and value come out when we are cleaned, cut and polished by the skilled Jeweler... who we call; God.

Another interesting fact about Diamonds is that there is only one thing that can polish it... It is another Diamond. You Ladies have been the Diamonds that have polished this diamond. I see and have heard stories of the struggles, sufferings, and pressures that have come and gone in your lives and I’ve watch how God has comforted and strengthened you. Each of you has gone through something horrible and you just keep living and loving life... even when you’d rather not. That is an inspiration to me and makes me sparkle. Remember that Diamonds are Diamonds because of what they have gone through. And that they could not have done it alone.

As I prepared for this devotional I also did some research online and found this bible study by Julia Bettencourt, called “Diamonds, a girl’s best friend”. She say’s, “when we allow Christ to mold us and to work in our lives and to cut lines in us, then we will reflect His light and His beauty”. She wrote this acronym using the word DIAMOND that I thought was great. I was reminded that when I am going through the pressures of life and suffering through very difficult situations... God is the God of all comfort, He is the God of the universe and He does have the bigger picture in mind! He wants me to be the beautiful Gem He intended me to be. This acronym can remind all of us what we can do to let God do his molding, cleaning, cutting and polishing as we become diamonds that reflect his love, Grace, and mercy.

I would like to tell you what the “DIAMOND” in Julia’s acronym stands for. I would also like to add what each letter has meant to me in the process of becoming a Diamond.

DIAMOND
D - Delight In The Lord
“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
- Seek Him and His will in your life. He is the alpha and the Omega! He
Is the Beginning and the end...
- That means, he knows our end and what it takes to Get us to the
Beginning. He knows our desires and He knows what we need.

I - Increase In Love
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each Other and
For everyone Else, just as ours does for you.” 1 Thessalonians 3:12
- Loving others is so important... without love, we are nothing.
- But in that we must realize that we must increase in love for our selves also! After all God must think we are awfully special!

A - Abide In Christ
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him
Bear much Fruit; for without me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
- Christ is our strength... without Him, we can do nothing!

M - Minister To Others
“Share with God's people who are in need...” Romans 12:13
- Reaching out to others, when you are hurting gets your mind of your own situation and it Shows Christ’s love to others.
- We are to bear one another’s burdens and help each other get through tough times. Especially with prayer, time, and support.

O - Obey God's Word
“We know that we have come to know him if we obey his Commands.”
1 John 2:3
- Reading and obeying His word shows God that you love Him and Long to serve Him.
- His word holds our destiny, we just need to read it, believe it, and obey it.

N - Never Give Up
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with Perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2
- Life is so hard, but we can never give up! No matter how hard it gets!
- Even if we don’t see the promise, it is still there. Even when we don’t
see God moving in our lives, He is still there.

D - Die To Self
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ Lives in
Me. The Life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son Of God, who loved
Me and gave Himself for Me.” Galatians 2:20
- Put God and his will for your life first... no matter how difficult it may seem.
- Give the control back to God... Crucify your self, die to your own desires and let God take control.

In conclusion I would like to add that the process of becoming a diamond for God is also the process God uses for us to draw closer to Him. When we are going through our very difficult times like we learned Paul has had to endure we must remember what he said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.” A friend of mine once said... “When God doesn’t use His power to alleviate your pain, trust His power to get you through the pain”. When the pressure of life gets to be unbearable and the high temperature of the situation gets to be too much... Remember, God is creating something beautiful... A diamond!

God loves us so much!!!

Here is a devotional I had the pleasure of writing and sharing at community bible study in Franklin, TN on Feb 12th. I hope you like it and that God speaks to your heart... I know He spoke to mine! THANKS for reading it!!!

<3 Mel

As women we are called to be a lot of things. Most of us are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. Some of us work, serve in the church, and do a bunch of other stuff. We work and work to make everyone happy, to keep everyone safe, and to keep everyone going. In order to make it, in order to keep ourselves going, we often times put ourselves last on list or simply take ourselves off the list all together. We tell ourselves I’ll be ok as long as everyone else is ok. I can tell you from personal experience that this will only work for so long. There might be a time when you feel like a failure, feel a little overwhelmed, or even feel like running away. If we don’t take time for ourselves and fill up our own cups with God and His words we will dry up and wither away.

Let me ask you some questions… Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Have you ever felt like you can’t do anything right… like everything you touch turns to dust? Have you ever felt like you’ve been on a deserted island, or that you are a deserted island? Has your heart been broken so bad that you can barely breathe? Have you felt misunderstood, ill prepared, or unworthy? Have you ever looked in the mirror and been disgusted or discouraged? Have you felt like God has forgotten you? Have you ever raised your fist to the heavens and asked, “why me”? Have you ever wished you were never born? Have you ever wished that you could just roll over and die? These are things that are easy to feel if you let your cup run dry.

God is Love, and His love is very different from human love. God's love is unconditional, and it's not based on feelings or emotions. It’s not based on how much we can accomplish in a day. He doesn't love us because we're lovable or because of the things we do; He loves us because He is love. He created us to have a loving relationship with Him, and He sacrificed His own Son, who was willing to die for us, to restore that relationship. He wants us to know how much He loves us. In fact He has written us a love letter. And we all have a copy of it, it’s called the Bible. All throughout these pages you will find words that express how much He loves you, how proud of you He really is, and how He longs for you…. How he longs to have a relationship with you. If you ever get discouraged look in these pages and you will find just how precious you are in His sight.

I could talk for a week straight; I would only scratch the surface of God’s love. These pages are so full of the fluid you need to fill up your cup. I encourage you to take your Bible go through it and make a list of the words God could say about you… Keep that list Handy and read it when you feel discouraged or overwhelmed. …better yet; hold it close, read it often and fill your hearts with His words.

I will close with reading the list I came up with for myself. I believe if God was talking to me directly from these pages he would say…


I created you to be like me, I created you in my image! (Genesis 5:1)

Before you were in your mother’s womb I knew you! Before you were born, I set you Apart (Jeremiah 1:5)

In fact, I created your inmost being; I put you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139: 13-14)

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you belong to me. (Isaiah 43:1)

Before I created the world, I chose you. (Ephesians 1:4)

I’ve placed the stars and the moon in the sky, yet I know and love you (psalm 8:3)

Nothing can ever separate you from my love. (Romans 8:38-39)

I have a place prepared for you and I will come back to get you, I will never forget you. (John 14:3)

I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. (Revelations 21:6)

I am your wonderful counselor, your Mighty God, your Everlasting Father, your Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

The peace I give to you is not like the peace the world gives you. Do not let your heart be troubled. (John 14:27)

Do not be afraid for my perfect love casts out all your fears. (1 John 4:18)

I hold you in the palm of my hand there is no reason to be afraid! (Isaiah 41:13)

Do not worry about anything; I have taken care of all the details. (matthew6:24)

Lean on me and my ways acknowledge me in all you do, I will direct your paths (proverbs3:5-6)

Come to me when you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest! My yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

I will wipe every tear from your eyes, and one day…there will be no more death, no more sorrow, and no more pain. All these things will be gone forever. I make everything new! (Revelations 21:4-5)

In me you are a new creation! (2corinthians 5:17)

And I love you very much!!! (Deuteronomy 23:5)